A great loss is when you lose someone. Things can be replaced but people cannot. I had never experienced this emotion, it's like I have no interest in my life. Said many times but never really meant "I don't wanna live anymore". She was like a roof, I used to feel protected, safe. Now, my soul feels unsecured. It has lost something really huge.
That night was horrible, she was laying in that dark, silent, stoned. I touched her feet that once gave me warmth, waiting for her blessings, and waited till morning, sadly I didn't get those blessings.
The next day which is not like a morning anymore, the garden which used to be so alive, green had been so dead and silent, they didn't want to grow without the person who has sown them. She left a perfect example of how a life is lived. Married at the age of 12, having 5 children, and still cleared her matriculation. Her life was difficult but never complained, suffered breast cancer and still survived for 30 years.
13 days have passed and now she has become a memory. Life is going as usual but she is not there, I cannot hold and caress her dab hands. I miss her tel-maalish, hugs, her unbounded love. No one can ever love me like she did.
Her stories were not as scary as this moment is. I wish I could have said that how much I love and care for her. A night before she left me, asked me to meet her another morning. I wish I could have told her that I love you Daadi Maa...
